Hope, 15 years old

I planned my escape carefully. Hiding clothes, books and things I wanted to take in the front yard where my parents wouldn’t find them. I even took coins from my little brother’s money box. I feel bad about that now, but I needed the money to run away and the abuse to stop.

I snuck out of my house before the sun came up. I left a note on the kitchen table telling my parents I was tired of them hurting me. I told them I wanted more for my life. I even bargained – ‘If you don’t try to find me, I won’t report you to the police’.

My parents hurt me a lot – verbally, physically and emotionally. My stepmum told me I was useless and that my dad regrets having me. Dad agreed with everything she said. I felt unworthy and that I didn’t belong. The weird thing was that they never hurt my siblings, only me.

Things got so awful I tried to end my life. More than once. I would always stop myself because of my baby sister – I couldn’t do that to her.

Dad threatened that he would send me back to Korea to be locked up in a mental health facility. That’s when I knew I had to get away. I didn’t want to end up abandoned and forgotten overseas, never to return home to Australia.

I fled to Sydney where there is a big Korean community which I thought may take me in. I feel safest around people from my own culture. The first thing I did was ask shopkeepers for a job. Everyone was kind, but they got worried when they realised I was all alone at the age of 14 and called the police. That’s when I met my caseworker Sarah.

I was terrified I would have to go back to my parents. Thankfully Sarah believed me and reassured me she would keep me safe no matter what.

I like that Sarah listens to me and makes no judgements. After years of feeling helpless, it means a lot that Sarah cares about my opinion and includes me in decisions about my life. It helps me feel a sense of control. When I’m anxious she hears me out and I never feel ignored like I did at home. Sarah let me choose where I wanted to live and encouraged me to make the phone call to my new house parents to tell them I was coming to stay. I was feeling freedom for the first time in my life

We hang out a lot. We’re both foodies so we go for bubble tea or cook something together. Sarah shares her experiences of being a woman from a different cultural background. We have that experience in common.  She tells me about some of the mistakes she made as a teenager which helps me feel less awkward talking about some of mine. When Sarah and I are together we chat about school, my friends and my future. I hope other kids have a caseworker like Sarah, who really got to know me for who I am. When she asks me what I feel like doing and what I want to talk about, I feel I can share the hard stuff too. It all comes pouring out. Sarah motivates me to try hard at school and value who I am by telling me to aim high and go for my dreams. I don’t feel useless anymore.

If you’re a kid reading this and are being hurt by someone who is meant to care for you, please tell someone you trust. Remember you are not what they say you are – you are so much more.

I’m so thankful to my friends and everyone who has helped me. I know that I have a generous heart. I work hard and will make something of myself – hopefully go to uni, get a car and one day buy a home. I want to prove to my parents I made it and I did it on my own. I am worthy.