Automatic language translation
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Elissia has taught me that words matter. When I first met Elissia, she was 15 years old and had chosen to leave her residential home to live with her boyfriend. I knew Elissia had experienced a lot in her life and I believed she was living with someone who was hurting her. At first I tried to meet with Elissia in person, but every time we arranged to meet she wasn’t there when I turned up. When Elissia eventually agreed to meet me we had gone into our first lockdown so my first connection with her was over FaceTime.
It was during lockdown that I found out Elissia was pregnant. I knew Elissia would need support and wondered how I was going to support her in the middle of a pandemic. I decided not to let the lockdown stop me. I knew that Elissia was living with her boyfriend. She had told me that her boyfriend was not violent towards her but I had information that made me worried he was hurting her. I decided to persist in talking with Elissia about her wellbeing, and shared what healthy relationships look like because I realised she may not have ever seen one. We also talked about what Elissia could do if something happened that made her unsafe. During all these conversations Elissia kept telling me everything was fine.
Eventually I realised Elissia’s boyfriend was listening to our phone calls. I could hear him telling her what to say and at times he would talk over her and answer for her. This increased my worries for Elissia. I knew I had to work quickly to establish trust so that she could tell me what was going on.
At first Elissia talked about wanting to move out of her boyfriend’s house, but she hadn’t gone so far as to tell me that he was hurting her. There were a few times where I supported Elissia to find somewhere else to go but then she would say she forgot or would leave the office before we could put anything into place. I understood that Elissia was likely feeling overwhelmed, and that the process of leaving her boyfriend would take time.
After a few unsuccessful attempts at finding her somewhere to live I got a phone call I will never forget. It was Elissia. She said she was at the shops, had her suitcase and cat, and needed somewhere safe to stay. She said her boyfriend was hurting her and she needed my help. In this moment I realised Elissia trusted me enough to call me. I knew I had to do everything I could to get her and her unborn baby to safety – I had to honour her trust with actions.
I found her somewhere to live and put lots of supports in place. One day Elissia asked me why I was doing so much for her. I told her I did these things to support her and Ava because I cared and wanted them to have a good life together. Elissia was surprised. She believed there would be strings attached to anything I did – she had never known a relationship that didn’t come with ultimatums and repercussions. She asked me if the supports would be taken away if she didn’t do what I asked. This broke my heart. I did everything I could to show Elissia that our relationship wasn’t dependent on her obeying everything I asked of her. I showed her this by listening to her, upholding her rights as a child and a mother, and supporting her to achieve her ultimate goal – keeping Ava safe in her care in her own home.
I also wanted Elissia to know what I was worried about. My heart broke again when Elissia told me that no one had ever said they were worried about her. This was when I realised that my words mattered. Words told Elissia that I cared about her and Ava and my actions showed her that my words had power.
Soon after Ava was born Elissia and Ava went to stay in a Young Parents Program.At times Elissia would tell me that it was hard and she didn’t want to do it. I always made sure that I listened to her. I advocated for her when it was the right thing to do. I showed her that I was in her corner and encouraged her to keep going. And that is exactly what she did. Elissia did not waver in her determination to make sure that Ava has a positive childhood. Elissia told me she was determined to make sure that Ava did not experience what she had experienced. With that we went to the police station to apply for an apprehended violence order. Elissia understood that she had to be safe for Ava to grow up with safety, and that meant doing what she could to protect herself from the violence Ava’s dad used. It was a brave thing for a teenager to do. It was a sign to me that Elissia knew her worth and would do anything to give Ava the safe childhood that she herself had missed out on.
Elissia now lives in her own place with Ava. She has made a beautiful home and filled it with love. Elissia is a confident and strong woman and mother who has kept herself and Ava safe in the hardest of times. I have high hopes for Elissia and Ava and can’t wait to see what the future holds for them.
30 Mar 2023